1. great3st:

    remember when suite life had a hsm episode and no one thought maddie looked like sharpay

    image

    (Source: great3st, via moistbottom)

    • me as a pedestrian:   [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
    • me driving:   say your prayers
  2. cespur:

    hey guys remember when the american soccer team was out of the world cup and the new york post ran this cover

    image

    good times

    (via lindsaylohoean)

  3. autosage:

    things to say if someone asks why you are so quiet

    • "i don’t have much to say"
    • (shrug with a smile)
    • "i like listening"
    • (with clenched teeth) “there are wasps in my mouth”

    (via homophobic)

    portugals-satan:

    8bitatoms:

    phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

    sevvey6:

    morbidamusement:

    captain-snark:

    bananamerlin:

    maderadearquitecto:

    Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

    imagine banging someone on that table

    imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

    noooooo stop

    Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

    What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

    aaaah it was a cool table now it’s a horror/drama story

    American Horror Story 4 : The Table

    (Source: rialxoan, via cornfuse)

    • me as a pedestrian:   [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
    • me driving:   say your prayers

    (Source: ellendegeneres, via guy)

  4. dickpong:

    dickpong:

    THIS STRANGER JUST OPENED MY FRONT DOOR PETTED MY DOG SAW ME AND LEFT

    i just met my step-brother for the first time

    (via buttlicked)

    • parents:   "schools easy"
    • me:   "can you help me on this homework problem"
    • parents:   "idk that shit its hard lmao"